Category Archives: Personal Journaling

My “Feeling Mostly” Meter

I love the writing program  A few of my writer friends use it, so I thought that I’d give it a try.  It’s such a freeing program because its meant to be private writing space.  I don’t edit what I write and I don’t share it with anyone beyond my “word count report” at the end via facebook.  The process of typing out 750 words allows me freedom to vent, brainstorm, explore, posture, worry, rant, and express my deepest emotions.  And at the end this little program puts how I’m feeling into a pie chart.  The chart is labeled “Feeling Mostly. . .” and then the pie is broken down into pieces.  Today, my large piece was easily a 65% Happy chunk.  I love how this program can accurately represent my feelings with a pie chart.

This month’s blog theme was intended to be “Things I Love.”  I was planning to continue exploring my One Little Word (#olw) abundance through this lens.  ButI didn’t post about that or about anything else.  And that was because I was busy being happy.  I wasn’t writing about it or reflecting on it, I was spending my time just “being it.”

I booked a trip to Paris.  I started doing Yoga with intention.  I made lasagna.  I drank good wine.  I stayed up late.  I read for pleasure.  I brainstormed on a new business idea.  I put down my iPhone.  I rested on a sick day.  I drank lots of water.  I ate lots of Greek yogurt.  I went to the ballet.  I went to a lecture.  I went out on a few wonderful dates.  I started a new sci-fi series on DVD with a great TV/movie partner.  I bought some pretty stationary, wrote on it, and mailed it to some special people.  I played a video game (yes, I love Angry Birds).  I listened to music.  And did I mention I booked a trip to Paris?

I’m exploring the concept of abundance and its leading me toward the idea of “creating a holistic life.”  I had a lot of fun over the last two weeks.  I paid attention to my health and my body.  I paid attention to my mind and spirit.  I did things I love.  I spent time with people I care about.  And I still went to work.  But I didn’t think about it too much outside of 9-5.  I tried not to talk about it too much or let it seep into my consciousness when I was away.

The last two weeks were the happiest I’ve experienced in a long time.  And while everything in life ebbs and flows, and while there are truly no guarantees, I’m embracing now.  I’m going to have fun.  I’m going to do things I love.  I’m going to spend time with people I care about.  And I’m going to blog about it for the rest of this month without fail, because this kind of happy is worth remembering.


Something Old. . . Freshly Squeezed

I’m not going to pretend that the last month hasn’t been painful; it was filled with moments of great optimism contrasted with heart-wrenching disappointment.  Not getting the graduate job was frustrating, but more than anything, it disrupted the predetermined path I had drawn up for my life.  It was this revelation that was the most difficult to swallow – my “life plan” had fallen to pieces on the graduate office floor.

For a number of months I’ve been a work-a-holic.  I had a lot I wanted to prove when I first returned to Pitt in August of 2009, including that I was talented, capable, and worthy of responsibility and trust.  I proved that.  In the process I sacrificed balance.  I wrapped my self worth up in my work.  And while work opened doors, fostered friendships, and created an atmosphere for me to rebuild my self esteem in the first place, it left me closed off to healthy relationships, happiness, fun and myself.

In this post I asked February for a new job, and well, Cupid must have skipped that post.  Because a new job I do not have.  But I got something better ~ fresh perspective on everything “old.”

By admitting how much not getting the job really hurt this past Wednesday, I’ve been able to come out on the other side with a fresh perspective on something old ~ my completely true self.  I’ve already started to move in a positive direction with interpersonal relationships, a direction characterized by fun, honesty and spontaneity.  I’m working hard to bring back the “me time” that got lost in the craziness.  I’m searching for my creativity and I think I know where its hiding.

And most importantly, I know the kind of balance I want to create and I’m confident its possible.  I’m 26 and doing pretty well for myself.  I don’t need to have a detailed plan with 27 steps.  I can just breathe, create, laugh, and see where life takes me.  And for me, that’s a pretty fresh perspective.

“It’s a brand new day.  It’s a brand new day.
For the first time in such a long, long time.
I know, I’ll be ok.”  ~Brand New Day by Joshua Radin.

Special thanks to JL and JML for all your love and support this week.

Life’s Little Hiccups

I love life.  I love that life is full of unexpected twists and turns.  That its full of hiccups.  I love that life is full of surprises, simple pleasures, friendship, and love.  I’m also glad that I’ve embraced imperfection, because life’s not perfect.  All my best intentions were to post about organization last week, and to really work on organizing my own life.  That did not happen.  Last week was as chaotic as the three weeks that preceded it and despite my best intentions, I was not organized.  I was not relaxed, rational, or particularly happy.

I had what I’ve termed a “mini freak out” this weekend.  Nothing was in balance.  Everything seemed to be falling apart around me.

In reality – nothing was wrong – but it sure didn’t feel that way.

What ensued from those feelings were a collection of conversations, both with myself and with my support network, that put me back into balance.  My mom and I made lists and did pro/con analysis.  I determined my bottom line.  T and I talked about women and men, what its like to be a single woman in a couples world, and how we each approach it.  I evaluated my dating life and determined that I’m in a good place; the person I’m interested in is too special to be lost because of impatience.  I thought through my consulting life and determined that two more clients would be ok, and that I’ll pursue one in hopes that the other follows.  I thought through my work life and this week, I’m determined not to let work win.  I’m really hopeful about all of these things.

After a movie with my friend C Saturday night, we talked about how my “mini freak out” was really just reconnecting with reality.  Being present.  I really like that perspective.  I think its healthy to have that kind of realigning every once in awhile.  And I came away with a few things to work on: scheduling myself in more detail (to better account for my time), opening up with my feelings (so when I do have more emotional moments, its doesn’t seem as drastic), and cooking more consistently (so I don’t end up subsisting on coffee and salt & vinegar potato chips.)

I don’t know what my blog will hold this week, but I’m going to go with the flow, embrace imperfection, and try to celebrate these last 8 days of January.  Hopefully they’ll be another organization post, a layout with stories from my Yesterday & Today class, and some January wrap up posts.  But tonight Eryn Says. . . breathe and live with abundance.  It is ok.  You’re on the right track.  It’s going to be a wonderful week.

Half Way Point

I can’t believe January is half over!  I had to start out this post by working on a post over at  It’s a great way to brain dump, establish priorities, and get some thoughts down on “paper.”  Here are a few things I noticed about the month so far.

1. I put a lot of time, effort, thought, and struggle into work during the 9 working days so far this month.  I did a lot of complaining, but most of it wasn’t without pretty good reason.  The takeaway however, was that I came up with a solution to fix the majority of the problems I was experiencing.  I’m thankful, humbled, and encouraged by the change in direction.

2. I forgot how much I enjoy music.  I have a pretty great collection available to me, and I don’t really have an excuse for not having it playing more often.  I’m going to work on this during the rest of this month.

3. I need to come up with a better way of keeping my thoughts, to-do lists, ideas, and life stuff organized and accessible.  I have Evernote, and I really love it, but I’m not doing a very good job of getting things into it on a daily basis.  I think part of the problem is that I love hand writing lists.  I love to scribble down “reminders” on pieces of paper, but they quickly become “non-reminders” because I never give myself enough information to actually remember what I was trying to remember.  I also typically lose the paper and find it after its lost its relevance.  This is a problem I must find a solution for before the end of the month.

4. I have a new appreciation for living in the moment.  This is part of living with abundance, but it also has a lot to do with not thinking ahead or doing too much planning.  It’s pretty easy for me to make connections and look ahead, but I’m working really hard not to do that in my personal life right now.  I’m happy exactly where I am right now and there is no need for me to jump too far into the future.

5. Scrapbooking makes me really happy.  I already knew that, but getting started with Yesterday & Today over at Big Picture Classes has started to make a big difference.  I’m embracing imperfection and I’m telling my stories.  This is really important to me and it’s really fueling me personally.


Yesterday and Today Title Page

Tall Paper Whites with Flowers

Paper White flowers are tiny and smell sweet

One More Thing…

I had a pretty terrific weekend.  Caught up on sleep, had a great time with friends, laughed enthusiastically at the Pittsburgh Cabaret Theater’s production of Triple Espresso, and worked on my first layout for my Yesterday & Today scrapbooking class.  I’m really looking forward to another great week in English.  Definitely an abundant weekend.

The first part of my Abundance Collage